Tuesday, January 8, 2013


I didn’t move to Los Angeles to be a sex blogger. Or a kink columnist. Or a pin-up girl.

I actually moved here to be an actress. In that regard, I’m different than millions of other girls who move to LA every year.

Oh, wait. No, I’m not.

I started writing a few years ago as a hobby, and it became an outlet. I’ve written a few articles and two unpublished novels. One thing they all have in common is that they have NOTHING to do with sex.

I used to think I had a low libido. Sure, I masturbated every night, but how else do you fall asleep? I didn’t want to have sex that often. I didn’t think about sex that often. I didn’t feel sexy that often.

Being hurtled head first into a debaucherous life of kink is a swift way to remedy that. The past year I’ve been consumed with sordid impulses. I’m in a constant state of preoccupation.

Last Summer, I went to New York with my sister. As we strolled the busy, hectic streets, our conversations trailed from one subject to another, rising and falling in their level of interest. The way they always do.

Nothing about our interaction seemed different to me at all until the moment she turned and said, “God! Can you stop talking about sex for one minute?”

I hadn’t even realized I’d been doing it.

She informed me that no matter what topic we raised, I found a way to turn it back to sex. She said I seemed obsessed. And here I was, thinking we were having a normal, pleasant conversation.

This got me thinking… is that the way my brain works now? Do I revert everything back to sex? Are my thoughts on an endless cycle of: 

sex-something else-sex-another thing-sex-different subject-sex…

What does that make me? The term nymphomaniac is thrown around pretty cavalierly. People use it to describe every woman from a sex addict to someone with a normal, healthy sexual appetite. It’s become a subjective term in our collective vocabulary. But when I went to the dictionary, the definition was too vague to clear anything up.

Abnormally excessive and uncontrollable sexual desire in women.

What the hell does that mean? In what sense? To what degree? Who determines what’s abnormal?

It IS, by its own nature, a subjective word. 

Excessive, ok. But uncontrollable? Does this imply a nymphomaniac is incapable of preventing herself from having sex?... Because that depends on what’s meant by “sexual desire.”

What if her sexual desire includes only watching others have sex, while never participating herself? If this sexual desire is excessive and uncontrollable, is she still a nymphomaniac? Even if she’s chaste?

I think so.

So what if a woman’s sexual desire consists of having dirty thoughts? Fantasizing, plotting, reliving…

I don't have that much sex, despite the opposite impression this site gives you. I get lucky about twice a week. 

But... If I THINK about sex constantly, might I STILL be a nymphomaniac? If my sex-driven thought patterns are excessive and uncontrollable..?

Could be.

How many women have you known that fit the standard for nymphomania, in one context or another?

Leave me a comment and tell me, because I’m deadly curious.

… And I need something to think about later. ;-)


1 comment:

  1. I thought at first this was going to be another dull article about how horrible life is being so insatiable and not having an outlet because you're so consumed with desire. But I was pleasantly shocked how well written, well described, and funny this turned out to be. Very accurate as far as I'm concerned, although I consider myself hypersexual more than any other label.