In middle school, I went on a field trip to a local hospital, where I again learned about my period. This time tampons were expanded on. And toxic shock syndrome.
I am a huge advocate of sex education. I am grateful for all the vague explanatory passages in textbooks and the disgustingly alarming venereal disease photographs I was exposed to. After high school, I considered my sexucation complete, even thorough. After a lifetime of exploring my own body with my fingertips, I considered myself the reigning expert on MY VAGINA.
How galling it was to meet someone who showed me more about MY VAGINA in twenty seconds than I'd discovered in twenty years.
And yet how revelatory to be introduced to an entire realm of pleasures and sensations I'd never believed existed.
That's right, Ladies. There is a whole other world inside of you. It's time to stop playing in the wardrobe, because Narnia is waiting just inside...
And Narnia is HOT.
What would you say if I told you that your clit was just the tip of the iceberg? Sorry to keep dropping metaphors, but the clit literally is the TIP of an entire (huge) sexual organ inside you. That tiny bundle of nerves is connected to an intricate network of glands, ducts, nervous passageways, soft tissue, and hard tissue. That every time you're aroused, you literally get an erection- just like a man- but your hard tissue erection is buried inside you and invisible to the naked man's eye. Wink.
What would you say if I told you the g spot can be found in one of four standard locations? And that with some basic knowledge and clever fingers, they can all. be. found.
What would you say if I told you EVERY woman is capable of squirting? Female ejaculation isn't only accessible to the select few- it is available to ALL of us! And the fluid we're able to emit isn't only a few drops expelled in an adorable little "pump." It can be cup-fulls. It can soak your floor.
What would you say to there being THREE different kinds of orgasms? Three ENTIRELY DIFFERENT KINDS OF ORGASMS. That's more than men have! We can get hard like men, ejaculate like men, and have more creative and versatile orgasms than men. And yet WE are the sexually repressed gender. Don't know how that happened, but I'm chalking up my disturbing lack of vaginal anatomical knowledge to a patriarchal society. And by patriarchal, I mean selfish.
I was PISSED to discover how ignorant I was of my own body! My own sensations! My own everything! I have been masturbating to orgasm since the first grade, and it wasn't until my twenty fourth year of life someone made me realize there was more.
It was the same night in the same hotel on the same bed. G had me on my back, licking me, making me squirm and tug at the bedsheets... He put his finger inside me. Being fingered was never a huge draw to me, but I wasn't in a position to complain. And then he started doing something... yummy. A soft something. Something different.
"That feels nice," I said.
"You like having your g spot rubbed?" He answered conversationally. Still in the gauging-what-I-like phase.
But... whoa. I stopped. That simple sentence changed my perspective on everything. My g spot?? I didn't have a g spot. I didn't think any woman had a g spot.
I know I sound moronic, and I'm sure most women are aware of at least that much. But I wasn't! I had tried finding it with my ex. We found something that made me feel like I had to pee, and I wasn't impressed. I thought maybe that point was present in all women, but the idea that it was sexual? False. The idea that a woman could come vaginally? False. These concepts were nothing more than the wishful musings of a lot of impatient men, tired of fingering clits.
But what G was doing to me.. was just this nice, round, delicious feeling. He lowered his lips to my clit again, and rubbed my g spot as he suckled the sensitive skin there.
"I... didn't think the g spot existed," I whispered. Slightly embarrassed, slightly pleased.
"What?" he asked, halting the caresses momentarily. In the dim light of the night stand’s lamp, incredulity cloaked his features.
I detected a note of skepticism. But when he believed I wasn't bullshitting, he grinned in this wickedly amused way. Like I was this adorable, hilarious toy he'd stumbled upon. One more fun to play with than anticipated.
He kept eating me. And he rubbed my g spot. And a few minutes in, he slid a finger into my asshole, already slightly relaxed from the pounding it received earlier.
This marked the beginning of my orgasm roller coaster. I had achieved what I would later learn was a "G Spot" or "Blended" orgasm. Different than the "Clitoral" orgasms I'd been having all my life. Blended orgasms are stronger. Harder. With more of an emotional impact. That might sound silly, but consider how emotions are determined by hormones, and hormones are wrought by a variety of inciting actions. Including physical stimulation. Yes, blended orgasms are emotional. But not, I understand, as emotional as uterine orgasms. Which I have yet to experience.
There was a downside to discovering my g spot, which I'll expand on later. But never for a moment have I regretted meeting this precious part of myself. Or the charming way our introduction was made.
If you're wondering in which of the four locations your own g spot is located, examine the following diagrams and then do some exploring.
Don't be freaked out by these pictures. They look scary as hell, but they're actually NON-SCARY x-rays of women's prostates. They illustrate where our G Spots are. These diagrams were taken from Female Ejaculation and the G Spot, by Deborah Sundahi. It should be on every woman’s bookshelf, and I’ll be explaining why in a future post.
The second image displays the second most common G Spot location. Called the Posterior Type. 15% of women call this G Spot their own. It comes with its own set of challenges, one being that it’s difficult to reach with your own fingers. You can try, but if you’re unsuccessful, I recommend getting a toy or sanitized object and attempting to reach it that way. Note how far away from the vaginal opening (on the right) the prostatic tissue is. Especially compared to the Meatus type we examined before. Remember- the thickest part of these images is where you’ll experience the most sensation.
The third image is the Middle Type. You’ll notice the thickest tissue is located midway between the preceding two examples. Only 7% of women have the Middle Type. It is the most rare.
When exploring your G Spot, remember to curve your fingers up, toward your belly button. I recommend exploring during a state of arousal- the G Spot will be FAR easier to find this way. You’re looking for subtle ridges. Try firm, gentle strokes and see if you can detect a difference in sensation. It should feel pleasurable, OR like you have to pee. If you find the ridges or think you’ve found your G Spot because of other factors, try stroking, pushing, and pinching the area. If you’re right, this area will start to get puffy and engorged- filled with ejaculate fluid. Like a tiny, fleshy balloon.
And if you’re really ambitious, try continuing to stroke this area while you masturbate your clit. One hand, two hands, with a toy, whatever works! Don’t worry if you think you have to pee- it is IMPOSSIBLE to pee while you’re aroused. Yay! Just go with it. Push through that. You might coax your way into your first blended orgasm J
And if you already knew this about your anatomy, I applaud you. You’re a better woman than I was. And I hope some of this information still proved helpful. Happy G Spotting, Ladies!
Xoxox
KC
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